I had a SUPER horny dream last night. Just shy of dream porn I was basically dry humping some blonde model type and was about to secretly and shamefully hook up with him in the attic until I was found out by someone else that resembled Victoria Grayson from Revenge.
Then, after that erotically charged sequence, I was walking around a school doing something and then of course, eventually ended up looking for my car in the parking lot. But during all my walking around the school I ran into like half a dozen guys that I had at one point or another either dated, hooked up with, flirted with, or generally been seriously interested in jumping their bones, and might I add for my own pride, they me. Though since this is all made up in my head, I’m not sure that’s actually a compliment, probably more vanity and insecurity.
I’m gonna go out on a limb (not really) and say it was raging hormones from “my grandma falling.” Don’t worry, my real grandma didn’t fall. That’s a code phrase I use for something that maybe somebody out there in the world has heard of before. Not one person I’ve ever said that to has heard of it, but I feel like the person I heard it from can’t be the only person who says, so I’m oddly hoping that one day I’ll say it to some random person and they’ll know exactly what I’m talking about and we’ll become bosom friends like on Anne of Green Gables. Well, ok, probably not really. But I will be genuinely surprised if anybody I say it to actually knows what the hell I’m talking about.
I don’t trust my relationship with the internet enough to reveal what the hell I’m talking about, but it wouldn’t take a genius to put together raging hormones and a healthy 24 year old young woman… think about it ladies. And men, this is something you don’t like to think about.
But seriously, guys, what do you have to bitch about? Sure, you get the occasional unruly and embarrassing boner. Try bleeding from your crotch for a week. Oops! Just gave away my “secret”!!! *eye roll*