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A Lot Of Jogging

Previously on… The Civil War Story: After Peter has a blow out with his father he makes a spur of the moment decision to become a blacksmith’s apprentice and leaves Gettsyburg with Mr. Windt. 

The notion that he was on his own hit Peter fairly quickly. The adrenaline which carried him through the morning began to wane as he and Mr. Windt rolled out of town. A nagging voice in the back of his head felt guilty for not saying goodbye to his family, but he was well practiced at pushing such thoughts aside. It helped that Mr. Windt began talking as soon as they left the city limits, and didn’t stop until what felt like weeks.

They did indeed spend weeks on the road, heading south. And from the time Peter woke up in the morning to the time he or Mr. Windt fell asleep at night, it was a constant lesson in smithing. For days Mr. Windt talked about the hearth and proper heating and proper fuel sources (Peter never knew there was such a variety of coal to be found along any given path or stream, and they spent time searching for coal, finding it far less than Peter had patience for). Throughout their journey Mr. Windt had Peter build different types of fire every night, sometimes even in the middle of the day, sometimes leaving Peter without lunch.

After Mr. Windt was satisfied with Peter’s basic skills of fire building, he started on the tools and the anvil. Occasionally he’d pull out half a dozen tools that looked nearly identical and explain to Peter how each had a very specific purpose. Of course, none of these tools would work sufficiently if Peter wasn’t strong enough or precise enough to wield them properly. So Mr. Windt had Peter chopping down ridiculously large trees, pounding a bare anvil for an hour before dinner, and occasionally jogging alongside the wagon. Mr. Windt claimed the jogging would help his stamina, but it felt more like a punishment for nodding off or not remembering a detail when Mr. Windt quizzed him.

And Mr. Windt quizzed Peter constantly. This wore on Peter at first as he had not expected such a steep learning curve, and he spent a lot of time jogging alongside the wagon. But he learned to listen and repeat things in his head or out loud whenever Mr. Windt stopped talking for 30 seconds or walked away. It was exhausting but it distracted Peter from his lingering nerves about leaving home. Mr. Windt could be icy and stern but Peter felt relatively safe in his presence. He felt he had an ally and suspected loyalty was important to Mr. Windt.

While Mr. Windt spent most of the day and night talking about smithing, he did occasionally meander into other topics. One night the conversation turned toward Peter’s choice to become a blacksmith’s apprentice. Peter was feeling particularly thruthsome and admitted he hadn’t any particular calling to smithing, but he was simply looking for some vehicle to strike out on his own. He hadn’t expected to find himself on a cross country venture with a man he didn’t know.

Mr. Windt was an intuitive man and fancied himself a good judge of character. The fact that Peter hadn’t any romanticized preconceptions of smithing and was looking for a way to make a living was encouraging that he might not fall by the wayside like his previous apprentice. He also sensed some uncertainty in Peter. He worked around the subject and let Peter get to it on his own. Peter had a rocky relationship with his father, but he seemed to care about his younger sister, whom his uncertainty and guilt appeared to center around. He suggested Peter write her a letter, it might ease his conscience. Peter denied any desire to do so, but Mr. Windt casually left out a pencil and parchment by Peter’s blankets before he went to sleep. In the morning he found the pencil returned to its proper place in the wagon and caught a glimpse of folded parchment in Peter’s jacket pocket. It disappeared after passing through a small town with a post office.


Next Up: Kate’s marriage is just beginning and there are already signs that it might not be wedded bliss. Kate also learns she’s pregnant. That was quick. 

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Should I take a stab at fan fiction? Should I try Harry Potter fan fiction?

Should I read some Harry Potter fan fiction?

Probably yes.


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Heather Is A Rrreeeeaaaaalllllllll Bitch.

Heather on Top Chef is being a rrreeeeaaaaaallll bitch. Like, seriously, whoever said she was a bully is right. And in case you haven’t watched Top Chef before, people don’t get eliminated for poor teamwork, they get eliminated for bad food. And unfortunately Greyson is going home because her partner is not as good as he thinks he is.


I WAS WRONG – Dakota and Nyesha just got bumped! That is the last pairing I would have thought they would send home! I don’t miss Dakota as much as Nyesha. And Nyesha is correct – some of those other chefs have nothing on her.

But back to my main complaint, Heather fucking sucks. Seriously, who does that? Who thinks it’s OK to openly insult someone’s character for reason’s of personal gain?? She only said that shit because she thought she was going to get eliminated and didn’t want to take responsibility for the dish. You want something to take responsibility for? How about your fucking judgmental and mean spirited attitude that caused the dish to be so poor in the first place.

You don’t want it to be too asian – am I the only one who finds that incredibly insulting?? Asian food is what Bev does. If asian is her strength maybe you should take advantage of that. Maybe you should be a little more open minded when it comes to cooking. What kind of selfish shit are you that you more or less refuse to take responsibility for a dish unless it’s made exclusively by you OR that is praised by the judges? I bet if you’d been on the top you wouldn’t have thrown Bev under the bus.

All that being said, I feel really bad for Bev. I think she needs to stand up for herself, and I think she does have that personality that tends to submit to dominant personalities. But I also think she still managed to take the high road. She didn’t really speak ill of Heather even though Heather was hurling chef slur after chef slur at her. Lovely, lovely Greyson defended Bev, but unfortunately Heather is a fucking bitch ass punk and frankly, I wouldn’t want to go toe to toe with her in an bitch-off either. It’s really not worth stooping to that level to ultimately get nowhere besides on her bad side.  And in this competition it’s probably not a very good idea to get on someone’s bad side who I wouldn’t put it past to intentionally sabotage.

Ok, I need to stop fuming about this. If I didn’t have limits on the curse words I use, I’d use some pretty nasty ones.

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That’s Where I Want To Be

Sometimes these little sayings/quotes pop into my head that I think one day might inspire a story, or at least might be incorporated into a current story so here’s one:

Quote: When I see you laughing and having fun, that’s where I want to be.

Context: This was inspired by The Office. Andy and Erin. 2011 Christmas episode. Turns out Andy is mostly worried that Erin is getting drunk, but my first thought was of two people who have previously liked each other, or know that they sort of have this ongoing Ross & Rachel dynamic, and either one person is thinking this, or has the balls to actually say it. And it’s not just about enjoying being around a person who is fun in a platonic kind of way. It’s about no matter who else you are with, no matter how interesting or fun or familiar they might be, when this one particular person lights up in all their brilliance you can’t help but be pulled toward them. And it’s not even relegated just to having fun, but all facets of the human condition. When they are sad you want to be there for them. When they are angry, you want to support them (albeit in a non-aggressive or destructive way). When they are experiencing life, you want to experience it with them, come what may.

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Flirting School & BSG

I had a series of dreams last night that were interesting. 3 to be specific. The first took place at a… seminar, I guess you’d call it, for dating/flirting. It was in a city apartment and my old friend from elementary school Kristen was there. I don’t know if we attended together or if it was a pleasant surprise that we were both there, but either way, things got slightly awkward pretty quickly. I guess we were practicing flirting or something? And suddenly I was getting these vibes from Kristen that were legit. I largely managed to brush it off, but then, as an aside, as we were leaving, and everyone was feeling confident about their flirting skillz (this is such a weird dream, no?), Kristen decided that even though I was making it clear I wasn’t interested, she bent me over backwards and kissed me smack on the mouth, leaving me flabbergasted, and she just walked away, delighted in her confidence. Ok, so we must have attended together cause that would have made for long term awkwardness, but it was just like WHOA, that was so awkward and strange, but maybe let’s just pretend it didn’t happen and move on with our lives.

The second part is related to that and I don’t have any story for this part cause all I can really remember is being a judge of some kind, and Kristen way rallying for LGBT rights or something, and I passed the bill; whatever bill had come across my bench. And she was like BOO YA! YES! And we felt good that together we could turn this important bill into law, despite any previous awkwardness.

Third part is not related to the first two and it was more complicated that I can really remember. I do remember at one point the town we were in was being attacked by aliens or BSG-style bad guys. Two of my dogs were injured or something, but they were like shriveled, so I lay them out to dry on the floor in the office, hoping they would expand like those little foam capsules that disintegrate and them expand in water to make dinosaurs and what not. And eventually they did, I guess, and so I hugged them close because I was so happy to see them alive and full sized.

The last bit of that third part was much more complex than I even realized during the dream, but Chief Tyrol, from BSG, has some piece of cylon equipment and he couldn’t really figure out to use it, but then Boomer came along and it hooked up to her in a really cool sneaky way, and everybody, including myself, was like HOLY SHIT!! YOU JUST UNLOCKED THE KEY TO WORKING THIS CYLON DEVICE! And that’s basically when I woke up.

So an interesting night overall. Awkward, weird, strange, bizarre, sad, scary, and then totally awesome. Who needs real life experiences when you can feel all these emotions in one night?

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Dude, where’s my car?

Another dream about losing my car in the school parking lot. *sigh*

I gotta figure out what this one means. Probably anxiety. And last night’s version was particularly long. Weird.

And in honor of the titular movie:

“What does mine say?”

“Dude. What does mine say?”

“Sweet. But what does mine say?”

“Dude… what does MINE say?”

“SWEET! What does MINE say?!”


…or something like that. That’s how I do it in my head.

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Introversion… huh.

This is not dream or story related, but I was linked to an interesting blog about introversion today. It was 10 Myths about Introverts. I would count myself among the introverted crowd though I am most definitely not the most introverted person you’ll ever meet. I enjoy social interaction and have gotten better and better at it over the years, naturally, along with becoming more comfortable with, and confident in, myself.

I shall list some of these myths and, if necessary, how I relate.

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

–> I wouldn’t say I hate small talk, but I am not particularly good at it. I would much rather get to the point and talk about something of content.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

–> This is a mite more extreme than I think applies to myself, but I would agree that if  you just start talking to me, engage me, that’s as much motivation as I need really to start talking.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

–> I agree. Real and honest. Be yourself. And yes, in certain social situations, around certain people, I feel more pressure to fit in and be cool. That being said there are also friends of mine who, if I’m around them, I feel comfortable being myself. The perception of having a social ally can be very powerful in comforting my occasional social anxiety.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

–> I completely agree with this statement with nothing else to add.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

–> This is why I get so overwhelmed at H&M. I already suck at picking out clothes, shopping stresses me out, I have to be mentally in the right place to successfully go shopping. And as he says, recharging is key. I need less of it now than I probably used to, but can’t a girl just get some alone time?! Or at least some chillaxing time!

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

–> Is there someone who DOES relax in busy public places?? The part of this that I identify with is sometimes I DO shut down if there is too much stimulus. Related to my former example with H&M. There are so many clothes, so many people, it’s just hard to keep up my energy and focus on the task at hand.

I might also add to this list something about Purpose. It is alluded to in Myths 2 & 3. Social interaction is not the only indicator of introversion. When I go to the mall by myself, I need a purpose. Like last week I was looking for something to wear to Thanksgiving. And I knew I wanted to start at the Gap. That was my purpose and it just so happens I found what I needed. Had I not, I would have moved on to another store. Mind you, with the same purpose, just slightly altered. I can’t go to the mall and browse. I can make it a purpose to browse for something in particular, but for some greater purpose – like finding a refrigerator. Doing research for a future visit at which time I will be prepared to buy. (However, browsing for a purpose is a dangerous because it can quickly turn to actually purchases which can burn one’s wallet over time!! haha)

Ok enough of that. I’m an introvert. I’m not frckin isolated from the world, but as you might see in my dreams and stories, I tend to get a good amount of stimulation and entertainment from my own weirdo brain!

Tata for now!

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