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Oh, Chloe.

on November 30, 2011

I had a oddly fascinating dream last night that REALLY played like a movie. Unfortunately I’ve waited probably an hour too long to really keep hold on the details but I think it’ll be fine considering as soon as I woke up I knew I would post it here and thus put effort into remembering. So let’s get down to business.

I was at the mall. Possibly buying christmas gifts or something of that nature. There was a really rude sales clerk that wouldn’t let me do something that I should have been able to do. So I got really angry. And the only unsympathetically strange part is that I picked him up and smacked him hard against the wall half a dozen times. I must have been channeling Lisbeth Salander’s intensely unnecessary violence towards those who commit relatively minor wrongs against her. So I was whipping this sales guy against the wall as hard as I could (as if this were an appropriate and acceptable response) and then I threw him across the way, but I guess I underestimated my own strength and threw him over the railing of the stairs.

Now, I’m not totally evil and psycho in this dream, I was worried I had hurt him badly by accidentally throwing over the stairs, so I ran over to look and turns out I REAALLY overshot the stairs and he was all the way at the bottom, a floor or two down. And he was dead.

Actually, he his body was positioned against the door in a fetal position, very much like I visualized Lisbeth when she was (SPOILER ALERT!) thrown into the open grave in the end of The Girl Who Played with Fire. 

Except this unfortunate fellow was most surely dead and naturally I was devastated. The cops showed up, I couldn’t believe what I’d accidentally done, and I sat down on the stairs, making no attempt to run or resist arrest. Consciously I wondered if I would get upset and for a second I thought I wouldn’t but then all of a sudden the emotion of the situation hit me and I started to break down and sob.

CUT TO my inevitable incarceration, though now I was watching the story like the movie camera, a non-existent, neutral third party. My former character was now played by Justin Long and his visiting friend was played by Mary Lynn Rajskub a.k.a. Chloe O’Brien from 24. There was romantic tension going on. And I couldn’t decide whether there was something going on before the man slaughter, but it seems a little daft for her to have fallen in love with Justin Long while he was in prison, no matter how sympathetic a character he can be made at this point.

Then something weird developed. My brain took a note from Dexter and Chloe died for whatever reason but Justin Long still hallucinated that she visited regularly. She helped him through his demons to the end of the story, and only then was it revealed to him that she had died.

But then my brain went all wonky and Justin Long died but Chloe didn’t know it, then both Chloe and Justin were dead but still hallucinating each other and of course it made no sense, thus why I picked the first scenario as the most appropriate and believable.

SECOND DREAM: I had a brief second dream that wasn’t very interesting, but I thought, like literally 30 seconds ago, something about it that might deserve some proper dream analyses. In the recent past I’ve had dreams where I’m in high school and we’re do weird schedules where you don’t have the same classes everyday. They rotate through. But in these dreams I’m never really sure which day of the week it is, and frankly, I don’t really even know my schedule aside from either others telling me or physical memory of walking to a class. It’s very anxietous (I guess that’s not a word, oh well, I just made it one). So that’s the first anxiety thread in that dream, but in this particular dream I thought it was Friday, but it was Monday, which actually turned out to be fortuitous because Monday was the day I didn’t have the class I dreaded the most and the idea that I was going to have to go to that dreaded class caused me significant anxiety for a second time.

So what’s the deal with that anxiety? What is that anxiety, manifested in my dream as a class or teacher, representing in real life? I just don’t know since I didn’t take the time to remember the details. I saved that energy for remembering the Chloe and Justin dream.

P.S. on Parenthood last night Amber expressed perfectly exactly my feelings of fear and anxiety over getting a legitimate hard core job. She was conveniently for television purposes brave enough to admit her anxiety. Maybe that’s what my dream anxiety is related to. Eh, who knows.

But, Oh, Chloe, I wish you weren’t dead. And for all intents and purposes you are because 24 is no longer on the air.


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